The afternoon’s panel was about violence, and the evening’s was about sex. The two have a lot in common, and not just about how comical they are when done badly. (Or how good they are when done comically. Funny how that works out.)
From the program guide:
What makes a good sex scene? When should a writer fade to black? When is more a good idea? While a horror publisher may be fine with a scene, a YA publisher might be completely opposed. Listen to pros share their stories and methods for writing about boot-knockin’ in their particular genres. For ages 18+.
Sar Surmick (M), Elliott Kay, Sam Stark, Alaina Ewing
“Like a fight scene,” a sex scene should be not just about the physical action, but about the emotional reactions and consequences. (See the last entry on writing violence.)
What makes it bad?
Dialog in the middle, according to one of the panelists. The others quickly pointed out that dialog throughout is not bad, and, in fact, can enhance it, it’s just that stopping in the middle for a long dialog is bad. Which was a relief, as most of the sex scenes I’ve written have dialog throughout. (And, at least one, a bit in the middle. I still think it works. I mean, what’s sexier than bringing up Henry Kissinger while your protagonists are lying together naked, right?)
Also, when it sounds like “something the author saw in a movie.”
One panelist advised “Don’t be normative and boring.” Boring, in any writing, is a cardinal sin.
People not being comfortable. “Not my turn on,” one panelist noted.
So, what makes it good?
Build up to it. Make the reader care that these two people are doing it.
Reveal character. A lot can be revealed about the characters by the way they have sex. (You don’t even have to get explicit here. In Yellow Tape and Coffee there are three different sex scenes between two of the characters, and each is different, showcasing how each has changed over the course of the novel.)
Other Miscellany
Speaking of turn-ons
When an audience member asked if a sex scene should always be a turn on, the panel all agreed not. Slaughterhouse Five was offered as an example. Sex scene in the beginning that is far from sexy.
Other recommendations
Good Intentions for smutty Urban Fantasy
What About Anti-Male Bias?
And audience member pointed out that a lot of people simply won’t read romance novels if they’re written by a man. He asked how to get around that. The idea of using a female-sounding pen name was brought up, but most agreed that was problematic for other reasons. General consensus was, don’t bother. There will always be some people who won’t read your stuff. Shrug and move on and try to reach the people who will.
What Sage Advice would the panelists offer?
Know your audience. In horror, you can push the boundaries the most and get away with things that really wouldn’t fly in, say, a romance. (There is a subgenre of Horror Romance, or Romantic Horror, but nobody was familiar with it.)
Visualize the scene. Even if (or especially if) it’s not something you’re into.
If you’re writing outside your identity:
- If it’s not your kink, remember that people are people, regardless of individual kinks.
- Consider using sensitivity readers.
- Use more than one
- Pay them, and, if they want it, credit them.
- Don’t assume they want to be credited. Ask first.
- That goes for anyone whose name you use anywhere.
- Care about your characters. If you don’t, the reader won’t.
Where to find sensitivity readers
- Local writing groups
- Network with other writers (at, for example, places like Norwescon.)
Choose your words carefully. One silly sounding word can ruin the whole scene. Read the whole thing out loud to find out how well it flows.
For a good model of a sex scene, watch pro wrestling. Not because it’s sexy, but because they are experts at telling a story with only physical movement. For more frenetic scenes, or those involving more than two people, watch Lucha Libre.
Last bit of advice
Hold up a piece of standard letter-size (8.5″ x 11″) paper. Notice the height of it? That’s how long 11″ is.